Cowboy by J.M. Snyder

Author:J.M. Snyder [Snyder, J.M.]
Language: nld
Format: epub, pdf
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

like, the cuddling and touching and sucking and kissing, he thinks it’s a waste of time. “We just did it,” he tells me, soaping up his hair. “You came twice. Don’t

tell me you want it again.”

Is that so bad? To hear him tell it, yeah, and so he won’t see me pout, I step

out of the shower, I guess I’m finished here then. “Nevermind,” I tell him,

wrapping a towel around my waist.

“Marcus,” he sighs, like I’m being petulant and unreasonable. I pull the cur-

tain closed so I won’t have to see him roll his eyes. “Maybe later, what do you

say?”

I say you’ll be too drunk by then, I think, but I don’t say it out loud. Instead I shrug as I towel off and tell him, “Sure.” As if he won’t be asleep later. Whatever.

I leave him to finish showering and step out into the hall, the shadows cool

on my drying skin after the heat of the water. I’m all too aware of my naked

chest above the towel at my waist, my naked legs below. I wonder if Luke’s in

yet, if he’s sitting in the living room and waiting for us to finish up, if he’s thinking about me.

But the living room is empty, I see that from the hall before I duck into my

room, and maybe it’s better this way, that he doesn’t know. Then I won’t feel

like I have to apologize when I see him, I won’t have to look into his violet eyes and see … what? Indignation, desire, anger? I’m not sure, though I know what

I’d like to see there, staring back at me. I’d like to see that lust shining in his eyes again, I’d like to taste his kisses — in the tub yesterday, he didn’t pull away after he got off, he wanted to keep kissing me, he wanted more. What would that be

like, to hold someone close instead of being pushed away? To lie down after sex

with another instead of always being alone?

In my room, I kick at the door to close it and drop the towel. The door

doesn’t shut completely and I don’t care — let Kent see me like this, he’s still in the bathroom. Let Luke see me like this, walk past my room and get a glimpse of my body, and then we could close the door, he could lay me down on my bed and damn but I shouldn’t think shit like this, I shouldn’t even dream of fooling around on Kent —

A single red gerbera daisy lies on my pillow.

Tentatively I pick up the flower. I bury my nose in the soft petals and just

smell pollen. A flower. For all his plants, Kent’s never given me anything like this before. The agave in the corner, that’s it, but it doesn’t bloom, it’s not the color of love, it’s not this.

So he was in here. While I was in the shower with Kent, Luke was in my

room. Did he lie down on my bed? Press his head

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